STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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