Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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