Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
