Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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