I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
