she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
