That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
