You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
