When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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