I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
