batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
