I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
