I bet he comes in French.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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