There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
