I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
