The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
