Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
