my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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