babies were throwing up all over the place
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
