Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We need to get me chipped asap
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
