He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
