I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
