And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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