like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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