Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
