somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
