I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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