Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
