Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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