That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
