the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
did i just pee glitter
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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