TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
