I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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