You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize