My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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