so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
