i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How external is "for external use only"?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
