Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
