I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
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we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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