If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
