god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
