Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
