At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
