Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
