Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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