She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
