yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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