sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
