so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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