considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
