we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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