STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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