How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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