I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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