i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
