dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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