i think my tv is drunk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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