I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
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Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize