she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
