Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
