i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
