well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
