My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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