she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
