I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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