THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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